Here are the boys are all dressed in their new Christmas Eve jammies and ready for Santa to come, look at how sweet they look! How could Santa possibly resist these sweet faces (albeit a bit mischievous about smiling for the camera!)
Merry Christmas to all of you! Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Ack! Update time I know! This past month has been quite stressful to say the least.

Pretty shortly after my last post, my dr. put me on a more full bedrest – Of course I’m a mommy and home with my boys all day, but they do good, they are pretty great about being self sufficient, and we have had a TON of help from my MOMS Club. I’m blown away by everyone’s generosity and it has made a world of difference for me with the contractions to have my stress level down.

I see My Dr. every week, and every 2 weeks we do another Fetal Fibronectin Test since I’m contracting quite a bit. So far thank God, they have all been negative, so we can just watch me but not do anything really extreme yet (hospital stay/more intense drugs/steroids for baby’s lungs incase I go into labor). I also have gone to labor and delivery at the hospital pretty much a few times a week every week because contractions will set in and start to come really regularly (like every 5 mins – or on a bad day ever 3 mins).

My Dr. recently prescribed me the drug that they give me in the hospital to slow contractions (terbutaline) so that I can take one at home and then save my trip to the hospital unless they keep coming. But terbutaline has some nasty side effects and makes me really jittery and heart racy, which I HATE but it is always a relief when the contractions stop. I just got a prescription for another drug (Nifedipine) to see if the side effects are a little better – still waiting for it to come into the pharmacy – but it seems like as my Uterus is getting bigger I’m contracting more regularly and end up having to take a terbutaline almost everyday – and I hate the side effects so much – I end up taking a sleeping pill just to help myself feel calm, and I hate putting so many drugs into my body.

So the good news is that I’m really hanging in there – contracting is not causing any dilatation which is really key – and although I’m agonizingly frustrated as the holiday’s are here and the nesting instincts are kicking in (not to mention general pregnancy grumpiness) and I’m stuck useless on the couch! But I’ve made it from my last post at 24 weeks to 29 WEEKS now! It all means that it is worth it, because even the chance of having a 25 weeker was worth all the sitting around in the world, and now that I’m at 29 weeks, I’m feeling like I could even look up the chances of survival for a 30 week preemie without having a heart attack (not that I will! But I know that I could without making myself hysterical). I think in about 5 weeks my Dr. will give me the all clear to get back to normal life, and hopefully we will make it to a perfect 37-39 weeks (I don’t even want to think about going to 40 weeks, because at that point I’ll be SOOOO tired of contracting and being pregnant that I’ll be eating people alive!)

Anyways – that is the update from me. I’ve been hiding out and doing nothing at all but “incubating” because it seems like the being upright at my computer too long kicks off contractions – not to mention the stress of trying to work, so designing and scrapping and… well everything – is sort of on hold for a while! I’m getting more of a hang of being on the laptop now that I’ve stopped trying to use the tablet, and stopped associating it with “MUST WORK” so maybe you’ll see a few more posts from me now….

Until then, keep us in your prayers these holidays – it is a different sort of year for me not being able to do all the shopping and crafting and merry-making that I’m used to. But even more, my dear grandma passed away last week – she got suddenly very sick, and couldn’t breath on her own. It was all very sudden, and it was SO hard to not be able to fly down to California to see her in the hospital. She was the grandmother in my life growing up – my moms parents had already passed away, so it was really sad and unexpected for all of us.

I keep trying to remind myself, with these huge in my face reminders of how precious life is, that I am so so blessed this season, and every season. With parents and sisters and in-laws and cousins and aunts and grandparents and so many dear friends, people surrounding me that care so much for me. A wonderfully strong, caring, persevering husband that has been an amazing caretaker for me and the baby and an incredible “single dad” to the kids during this stressful time – and my boys, all FOUR of them, they are so precious and kind and all of them are troopers for sure. They are the lights in my days – and they are also that light at the end of the tunnel that reminds me WHY this is all more than worth it.

Okay so – “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” just started playing and I’m getting all teary! I keep thinking what a hard terrible season this has been, but I think I’ve been wrong – this year we are so blessed. I have a beautiful family – and I’m carrying the baby that I was DREAMING of last year. Life has been good to me.

Have a good weekend all of you – remember to take a deep breath and soak in your blessings! (put your feet up too, just for me because I need some company while everyone else is bustling around, plus it is Christmas time, and you should enjoy it too!)