Well, I’ll be totally straightforward here and say, the past few weeks haven’t been the best.   I’m feeling off kilter, and still trying to recover mentally from the big scare on Saturday when I passed out and had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance.  It seems like a one time thing due to a drop in bp, but it is unsettling – frustrating emotionally too to feel like in some ways I’m no better (or maybe worse?) than when this all started last year…. not quite a rational thought process, but I guess a big part of me was hoping that by this time this year I would be feeling completely recovered…  I was hoping I’d be tapering down on my medications instead of adding new ones.  I was hoping to feel well, its sort of hard to feel at peace with how things are…

So anyway – all that is leading up to this story:  While I was feeling a bit pathetic the other day, I started to load the pictures I’d taken for 365 this week from my camera.  As I started to look at what I’d captured, from those few day I couldn’t help but feel a little moved…

January: 19th

20th

21st

Click on any of the pictures to read more about them in my 365: 2010 album on flickr.

Seeing all of these lined up together gave me a bit of perspective.  Even when I’m feeling low, there are countless little things happening around me that are precious little reminders that everything IS ok.  A sweet moment sharing whipped cream, the peace of mind that comes with a sink full of clean dishes, and a little love note I found in our “mailbox” the other day… these are what can get me through the rough patches.  These are the constants, the moments that don’t cease to exist even if I feel like I’m sinking.  These are not a judgment on how I’m feeling, how I should be ok…. but instead these precious moments are  my little life rafts to help me ride out the storm.

I can make it through, everything IS ok.