Wooo!!  I’m so excited about the Heroes Season Premiere tonight – g and I are both big sci-fi lovers, and since the very first episode, we have always made a tradition of watching it together on Monday nights and we’ve both been waiting anxiously for it to be back!

YAY!  The countdown is on! Less then 12 more hours till I snuggle up with my honey and some take out for the big event!

  odd title I know this… but I’m really trying to get back into the swing of blogging again – since the month of August is like 16 days behind us, and I no longer have any excuse!  The new routine of school and stuff has been keeping us all rockin’ and rolling over here. But it has been really good, It’s all just a matter of using my time wisely and finding where to fit in all the elements of the to-do list.

So… in order to get myself back into blogging, I decided to play along with my dear friend Lauren’s blog.  She is doing something weekly on her blog called “Truthful Tuesdays” and I just love it.  One day a week of no holds barred honesty about whatever it is that is on her mind.  I think it is always a challenge to be upbeat positive and informative on your blog… and yet not lose that honesty that I think gives a blog something special.  Anyway, since la started doing truthful Tuesdays I’ve been dying to play along… but gotten busy and didn’t for some reason…. so this week I’m determined!

… the only thing is… my “truth” this week isn’t very serious… and actually it’s a bit silly… but I’m supposed to just put it all out there what ever is on my brain right??? So… here you have it… (it’s all Lauren’s fault!)

don’t laugh…

So… LOL… This is a picture I took of myself this weekend…

…in the dress..

…I wore to my HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION!

LOL yes yes I know, it is REALLY age inappropriate… I realize I look more like a 14 year old in this dress than a respectable 28 year old mom of 4… and also… I know no one actually wants to see that much of my thigh… LOL but seriously MY HIGHSCHOOL GRADUATION….

I don’t know why I have this dress anymore… actually yesterday when I was cleaning my room, and straightening up my closet, I tried on about 8 dresses that I own that really have no business still being in my wardrobe… and considering the fact that (up till now) I haven’t even come close to fitting in these clothes for 8 years… I really don’t know why they were in there!

But… now that I found them… and tried them all on… I can’t even explain how good it made me feel.  After having Gareth… and then the other three, I just was sure that one of the many things I was giving up forever as a mom, is my old “little teeny tiny person” status.  It was actually really really hard for me.  I spent the whole first part of my life being smaller than everyone around me.  At five feet tall, I’ve always been the shortest,  but it was more than that too… I have smaller bones, I have a little frame, and I was always effortlessly pretty thin, it was just who I was… shawna is small…

So when I had kids, and moved into average, and even “overweight” brackets  (CURSE YOU BODY MASS INDEX!) , it was really really hard for me to sort of redefine my self image.  I never would have thought before that I was excessively vain, but I see now that my size has always defined me more than I knew… who knows maybe we are all very defined by our size/appearance… or more so by the way we feel about ourselves.

So…… yes I’m rambling… honest no holds barred shawna is a bit all over the place… it can’t be helped…

So… for the past 9 years, I’ve always always said, that once we are done having kids I would really buckle down and loose weight.  I told myself (over and over and over) that I’d get into the “normal” bmi range (again, curse you BMI!).  But that I had to be realistic, that I had to realize I’d given up teeny tiny me when I gave birth to 4 precious boys, and you know I think I was even at peace with that.

Tennyson marked our last baby (its COMPLETELY OFFICIAL now – really you read about it at that link on g’s blog).  So as I have mentioned a few times over the past few months.  In April, at 2 months postpartum, I decided it was time to make good on my promise, and I did it!  I signed up for Weight Watchers Online, started counting my points religiously, and I also started doing the couch to 5 k program that I seriously loooove (read all about it here if you missed that post).

With in 3 months, I lost the 20 pounds that was my firsts goal.  I got into the normal BMI (curses bmi!) range, and I fit into all my clothes from before I was preggers with t.  Then I thought, you know, what the heck, I’m just going to see what more I can do… I mean i KNOW I’ll never be as small as I was pre kids, but maybe I can settle somewhere a bit lower than I have ever been as a mom….

I kept working, watching my calories, running consistently about 5 times a week.  And 5 months later here I am!  I’m actually with in about 1 to 5 pounds of what I weighed as a highschooler! I’m not all the way down to what I was pre-gareth, but seriously I weighed between 98 and 101 pounds in college when I got pregnant (instead of gaining the freshman 15, I seemed to loose the freshmen 10)… so that would be a really really lofty goal!

So… yes… truthfully, today on Tuesday – I feel dang proud!  I feel healthy and stronger and for mercies sake, I feel pretty hot! hahaha!

Here’s a few more for you, just for the sake of putting it ALL out there LOL

Here’s my Jr. Prom dress:

and also, another random dress that is highly age inappropriate, but I’m telling you, I feel pretty good in this one!  Maybe there is some sort of skank fest or something I can wear it to with out feeling like I stand out too much! Hahaha, just kidding…. sorta .

Really, Its totally not toooo bad… as long as I don’t have to bend over…

I’m just forewarning you that if you live in my neck of the woods you may or may not see me wandering around Fred Meyer’s in one of these puppies! …. In the words of my dear friend Casey… “I’m just sayin’”.

Anyway… um… yeah… yay me!  I’ve lost over 30 pounds now and countless inches.  I’m up to running 2.5 miles straight (25 mins) with out feeling like I’m going to die.  And… I feel… finally… a bit less like a “mom,” and a bit more more like the ME that I’ve always been.  I really value being a mom, it is makes up SOOOO much of my world…. but it is also nice to remember that there is more to me… (or less of me in this case!) and that as I work to balance it all, and find my place in my life… I can still be… well… me…

I saw this on my friend Casey’s blog, and although she didn’t tag me specifically (she did the “everyone is tagged” thing) I thought I’d play because June 3rd was the 8th anniversary month for G and I and I’m feeling all sentimental

How long have you been married? Married 8 years now.
Where did you meet? Grove City College in NE Pennsylvania.
How long did you date? Long story short, about 2 years.
How old is she? 30 (LOL ooooold man!)
Who eats more? Well now that I’m doing Weight Watchers he does, but before hand I think I held my own!
Who said “I love you” first? Me definitely, wayyyy too soon, but I’m all about saying I love you!
Who is taller? G by a full foot!
Who sings better? … umm how about who sings MORE? G, hands down.
Who is smarter? George is pretty much the smartest person I know.
Whose temper is worse? No doubt, mine is.
Who does the laundry? I do mostly, but since T has been born g helps out with this a TON, 6 people make a lot of dirty clothes!
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Me, but we just switched when t was born because the right side was where the bassinet fits.
Who pays the bills? G does all the budgeting and financial stuff, but I mail the checks.
Who cooks dinner? Mostly me, but lately it is more like what can we throw on the table and we both do that.
Who drives when you are together? Always G.
Who is more stubborn? Ummm, yikes, we are both sticklers about different things, but in the end I think I’m more of a pleaser, so he is more stubborn.
Who kissed whom first? Oh my gosh I have NO idea – probably g kissed me, because I’m sort of a loser when it comes to making moves.
Who is the first to admit to being wrong? I think probably I am… but I could be wrong
Whose parents do you see the most? Mine, G’s parent’s live on the other side of the country.
Who proposed? Long story short, G did.
What’s his best physical attribute? Everything I think to say sounds so cheesy! We’ll go with I love his hands.
Who has more friends? Me, g is very particular about his friends
What are you most proud of her for? He is the most amazing person I know, so it is hard to choose, but he is an incredible dad – I love that about him.
Who has more siblings? G has 3 siblings, I have 2.
Who wears the pants in the family? I’d say definitely g, although by “wears the pants” I mean “gives me everything I want”

See, isn’t that fun?

Who else wants to play???

Well, usually I have been trying to split up my posts like this because it can get overwhelming all the craziness going on around this house on any given day… Now, I signed up for this chaos but my poor readers didn’t!… So I’ll try to make this short and sweet (TRY I said…)

Movin’ - Well this weekend was BIG in my word, because the kids have been asking to play on the computer more and more, we have been trying to figure out the best solution for how to make that happen – add to that the fact that I’ve started playing with my paper crafting again, and it was starting to take over the living room a bit – so we decided it was time to move g’s computer out of our room and set it up so the boys could use it too – Friday we hit up IKEA, and picked up a desk and chair so we could set up a space in our playroom/family room area:

Also, because Gareth is out of school for the summer, the timing couldn’t be better to set up a new activity for him and a new rewards system to encourage good behavior and doing chores. So I set up a little rewards system where the boys can all earn time for playing on the computer or for playing video games:

The boys were very excited about decorating their own envelopes, and so far it has been great, especially for Mr. Gareth who in all his almost 8-year-oldness needed a bit encouragement to get his attitude in check about doing his chores. Each little ticket is worth 30 mins, and they earn them by doing the chores I ask them to do (with 1 warning/reminder or less) after 2 short days, I have to say I’m feeling rather impressed with my idea – I think it will be great for us this summer!

As if that isn’t enough – I now have MY OWN SPACE at the desk in our bedroom, AND I was able to take all my poor neglected craft supplies out of hiding in the garage, and set up a craft space for myself again! Look at this great space:

I can’t help but feel inspired looking at it all, and I’m SOOOOO anxious to get to play with my paper more now!!! Hybrid scrapping here I come!

Changin’: Well believe it or not, as I type this, I have only 26 minutes remaining until I am a mother to an EIGHT YEAR OLD! I just can not believe that I’ve been at this mom thing for so long! Well on Sunday we met my parents for lunch, because it is my Dads birthday too (today happy birthday dad!) And they decided spur of the moment to take our 3 older guys (poor little t is too young still to go!) The boys had a blast, and my Gareth got roller-blades for his birthday! Also, Grandpa taught him to ride his bike with out training wheels! We haven’t done a ton of bike riding because Gareth is always glued to his scooter, but now that he has a taste of the two wheel action he is HOOKED!

Here’s a picture of Him zooming along:

And, the boys all together I have a feeling our summer will be filled with lots of scenes like this:

And as if that isn’t enough changing for this poor mama’s heart with my oldest turning 8, riding bikes, finishing second grade, and roller-blading around, my youngest is also changing on me! Today Tennyson is officially FOUR MONTHS OLD! He had his four month check up and the Dr. said (and I quote) “He is absolutely perfect”

Here is all 14.2 pounds of him at the Dr’s office:

and a little “hi, I’m four months old” face for you too:

Poor little guy got 4 shots and is not as happy with me now as he was earlier in the day, I know it is short term, but I hate to see him all sad! I’m hoping he feels better tomorrow!

and finally Shakin’: So, although I had a bit of a snag with my whole treadmill fiasco – we are lucky to have some great weather again, and I so tonight I jumped into week FOUR (that means I’m almost half way to 5k!) It was the hardest run yet, but I felt GREAT afterwards…. I guess we will see tomorrow what my poor body thinks! I am feeling very proud of myself though, not only am I still working hard and running, I also am down 16 pounds now since I started working at it at the end of April, and I feel GREAT…. I am as thin as I’ve been since I had baby 2, 3 and 4 – I still have a bit of a ways to go, but my goals seem really with in my reach now!

Since I’m all picture-y in this post I thought I’d share my picture I took tonight after I came home from my first day of week 4!

I think the flash was a bit intense because you can’t tell that my face was BRIGHT RED, but I really was feeling pretty dang good!

Well there you have it! things are moving right along around here! Tomorrow is gareth’s 8th birthday so I’m sure we’ll keep ourselves busy celebrating, and of course there is designing to do, and kids to feed and a house to clean, so I guess getting some sleep would be called for. I have to say, I’m not really one for things getting predictable and the same day in and day out. So one thing I love about having a big family and being a mom in general is that things are ever changing, and really don’t “settle” (funny how they call it settling down!) I’m sure tomorrow will bring all sorts of action I can’t wait to share!

So – as you all know I’ve been working hard core, running and running and LOVING it – but goodness gracious last week was COLD (what the heck is up with it being in the 50ies in JUNE!?)- now as I shared, I love the feeling of running in the rain outside – but when it is really stinking cold that is a different story!

So last week I was all determined to keep with my couch to 5 k program, and so I hopped on the good old treadmill in the garage, and what do you know – it starts SHOCKING me and then shutting off…. first time it did it I just started right back up, but then the next time it did it I got suspicious…. and when it did it a third time and all the digital readouts just read “EEEEE” I decided I’d stop getting myself shocked and called it a day.

So now I’m sad, and lonely with out my running buddy – and I’m frustrated!  I looked on craigslist but mostly I was finding “only used a few times” thousand dollar ones… and I don’t need anything fancy – plus i’m not too keen on spending all my money!

So what the heck, I’m putting out the call – do you have a dusty unused (working!) treadmill you are wanting to pass off??? Seriously if you live in the portland/vancouver area and you know of a lonely treadmill needing a friend, then I’m soooo the person to take it off your hands!

In the mean time you will find me praying for nice weather and hounding craigslist and garage sales until I can replace my lost love.